A fatwa is an Islamic religious ruling, a scholarly opinion on a matter of Islamic law.   A fatwa is issued by a recognized religious authority in Islam.

The Fatwa: Ezzat Attiya: Adult Breastfeeding in the Workplace

In May 2007, Ezzat Attiya wondered how unrelated men and women could work together in the same office, when Islam forbids men and women who aren’t married or related to be alone together. His answer: let her suckle him FIVE TIMES. Yes, that’s right, an adult female breastfeeding an adult male coworker will defuse all sexual tension in the office. See, the female worker will now be the male worker’s foster mother, and they can be alone together anytime. Attiya’s ruling was intergalactically mocked, and quickly condemned on the homefront as well. He was later suspended from his job, pilloried in Arab newspapers, and issued a hasty retraction saying it was a “bad interpretation of a particular case.”

Source: “A Fatwa Free-for-All In the Islamic World”, New York Times, Michael Slackman, Monday, June 11, 2007.

The Fatwa: Infidel Vaccine

Polio is actually increasing in India, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Why? Because an anti-polio fatwa by anti-Western clerics forbid Pakistani children from immunizations, because the clerics are saying the vaccine is a conspiracy to make Muslims sterile.

Source: “POLIO ERADICATION: Looking for a Little Luck”, Roberts Science 6 February 2009

- A newlywed couple spent their wedding night in separate jail cells after police said the bride tried to run over an old flame of the groom. Now there is a marriage that will last!

- Denis Danny Roberge, a 19-year-old young man will spend the next 60 days in jail after stealing a beer from a convenience store in Quebec. He stole the $3.37 beer to celebrate having just gotten out of jail.  Ummmm, what an idiot!

- And from my home city - Toronto, A driver banned from the road after a drunk driving conviction was nabbed for allegedly speeding on his way to serve his weekend jail sentence.

- Put down the Mexican food! An Alaska man who hit a Taco Bell manager in the face with a double-decker taco has been sentenced to one day in jail and one year probation.

- Ouch!! Officials in Germany say eight teenagers were hospitalized after a test of courage in which they drank chili sauce more than 200 times hotter than normal.

- Bleh! Israel has taken the upper hand in a new kind of Mideast conflict, one in which bullets are replaced by chickpeas. Using a satellite dish on loan from a nearby broadcast station, cooks in an Arab town near Jerusalem whipped up more than four metric tons of hummus.

What do all these weird stories have in common, leave your answer in the comments section to win a pack of bubble gum or some other cool prize I can decide on!