Jail-House sex with the Opposite sex!

Three men and three women have been charged, because they found a way to meet up in jail and have sex.  The inmates figured out how to remove metal ceiling panels in the Greene County Jail and used the passageway more than a dozen times in September and October, according to court documents.

The men — ages 44, 38 and 17 — and the women — ages 27, 26 and 21 — crawled through the ceiling after midnight, having sexual encounters and drinking homemade alcohol that was found hidden in the male cell block, a police affidavit said.

One male inmate who was not charged said the female inmates would “hang-out, play cards or have sex with some of the male inmates” in their cell block, the affidavit said.

The inmates were able to find a security camera “blind spot” where they could remove ceiling tiles and create a passage between the cell blocks, Sheriff Terry Pierce said Tuesday.

The inmates used a shower drain as a tool to loosen security screws and the ceiling tiles were carefully replaced so they did not appear to be disturbed, Pierce said.  This is a prime example of the old adage; “where there is a will, there is a way” – makes for much more enjoyable jail-time I guess.

Man Farts on Cops

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and “passed gas loudly,” the complaint said. Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

“The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged.  He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.  “I couldn’t hold it no more,” he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.  Now that story is a real gas!!!

Man Donates 3 Million Lottery Win to Church

And in generous weird news of the day, a New York pastor says one of his congregants donated a winning lottery ticket worth $3 million to his church.

Pastor Bertrand Crabbe of the True North Community Church in Port Jefferson says the donor, who asked to remain anonymous, donated the “Ba Da Bling” scratch-off ticket immediately after realizing he won.  Crabb says the donor said: “This was why God put the ticket in his hands.”

A state Lottery official says the independent Christian church will get a little over $100,000 a year through 2028.  The amount could be higher if withheld taxes are refunded because of the church’s nonprofit status.  Crabb says the 650-member church will give the first year’s proceeds to other charities.  I know it is all a scam he is using the church to launder the money and attempt to get the 50% tax back, then the church will pay it to him and take some of the taxes it saved as ‘juice’, ok now that statement is paranoia, maybe there are just some really ‘good’ folks left in the world?

This News Story is Very Funny and Weird

Former Hooter’s girl believed she was going to win a Toyota car in a 6-month long beer selling contest.  Much to her surpise she did win but it was not a Toyota car but a toy yoda doll from the Star Wars collection.  Below is a picture of her at her lawyers office where she will discuss her options.

weird news pic