Buy a Kid on Kijiiji?

This kid must really hate his sister!

A 16-year-old Ontario boy was given a stern warning by police for posting an online ad that offered two children for sale.

Chatham-Kent police said the ad included photos and stated that the kids had to be gone in a week or they’d be put on the streets.

A concerned citizen called police at about 9:30 p.m., Thursday night.

Police tracked down the teen, who admitted to posting it as a joke.

Investigators confirmed no children were at risk and he was warned about his actions.

Chatham is about 75 km east of Windsor, Ont.

You are a Bad Tweeter!

A Malaysia man has agreed to tweet an apology 100 times over three days after slandering a publishing company on the social media service.

Fahmi Fadzil (@fahmi_fadzil), who describes himself as a performer and writer on his Twitter bio, is doling out the contrite tweets at about one an hour. As of Thursday morning, he was at 25.

The apology, which Fadzil told QMI Agency was the result of “an out-of-court settlement, mutually agreed by both parties,” reads: “I’ve DEFAMED Blu Inc Media & Female Magazine. My tweets on their HR Policies are untrue. I retract those words & hereby apologize.”

The unusual penalty comes as a result of a tweet he wrote in January claiming a friend of his had been treated poorly by her employer, publisher BluInc Media.

As reported by the Associated Press, Fadzil tweeted an apology shortly afterward, but the company’s lawyers sent him a letter and began legal proceedings.

Twitter is increasingly being cited in contentious cases between companies and employees, as Sportsnet host Damian Goddard discovered when he was fired over one of his tweets in May.

Fadzil has more than 4,500 followers and seems to be enjoying his new-found fame, cheerily replying to questions and suggesting curious tweeters do a Google News search on him. He hosts The Fairly Current Show – a Malaysian current affairs program on the web.

According to a tweet he posted Thursday, he expects to post his last apology around 6:45 p.m. Saturday.

Crazy News Headlines

Miss Jail Brazil 2011 is a murderer! – A prison in Recife, a city in the state of Pernambuco, recently held its inaugural Miss Jail pageant to join a growing global list of contests for beauties behind bars.  Miss Jail 2011 is 19-year-old convicted murderer Rebecca Rhaysa Suelen Guedesin.

Schools in Paris will stink! – Paris wants green sources to fuel 30 percent of its energy needs by 2020 and a new heating project at a primary school is the city’s first using power from sewers.  The technology takes advantage of the warm waste water flowing into the sewers from showers, dishwashers and washing machines. A steel plate containing heat-conveying fluid is submerged in the waste and feeds a heat exchanger pump — in this case located in the school’s cellar — which circulates heat through an existing network of radiators.

The crap-in-the-pants look is banned! – Students living in the state of Arkansas who love their sagging pants will soon have to leave them at home. Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe signed a bill this week that bans students from wearing clothing that exposes “underwear or buttocks.

Have a really weird week!

Toronto Man Hits Useless Milestone

Ok, from the archives of ‘who really cares’ and ‘buddy get a life’ we have Canada’s “Pub Guy” Bill Perrie who has a dream job that allows him to travel around the country in search of bars to drink his favorite brew.

Perrie, 53, of Stouffville, Ont., located 50 km northeast of Toronto, was nursing a cold one at one of his favorite watering holes in the city, the Firkin on King, on Thursday to mark his 2,500 bar visit.

He was accompanied by friends and fellow beer aficionados who openly profess their love for suds.

“It has been a labour of love,” said Perrie, who has written seven books on Canadian pubs. “The people is what makes a good pub great.”

Perrie, who has an Internet radio show and is a columnist for Pub Magazine, has been traveling the country since 1999 checking out pubs. He has racked up thousands of kilometers in search of “hidden gems.”

“I did not set out to visit as many pubs as I could,” Perrie said. “I am always on a quest to find great local and hidden gems.”

His interest in pubs date back to his days in Scotland, where “bars were like a community center that people attended everyday after work to catch up with friends.”  Firkin general manager Dan Targonsky said Perrie could have gone to any the GTA’s 2,500 pubs to mark his milestone visit.

OK, maybe I am just a tad jealous of this guys job, aren’t you?

Lady Gaga Perfume is Weird and Gross

Part of her allure is the fact that she is way over the top in everything she does but if this perfume actually goes to market with her blood in it, I will barf!!!  Now there has been some talk that there might also be semen in the perfume, will it be her own?

Adam Raymond over at MTV came up with some of his own favorite combos he would like to see:

+ Diarrhea and baby puke

+ Spoiled milk and foot sweat

+ Zit puss and Sunny D

+ The water from a Port-O-Potty and Natural Light

I thought of one of my own disgusting favs, Workout sweat and toe fungus!!  Now there is a scent that would sell I am sure…..maybe if Justin Bieber sponsored it!

Is a Penis Museum Sexist?

Sigurour Hjartarson will finally get to claim the penis promised to him by an Icelander 14 years ago. It will be the first! The donor of the penis, Pall Arason, passed away on January 5, 2010 and Hjartarson, the curator of Iceland’s Penis Museum, is now preparing to collect the museum’s first human specimen.

Hjartarson said while he does not know if the agreement – made 14 years ago – will be respected, he does not think there will be a problem, according to media reports.

The Icelandic Penis Museum has penises of every species of living thing that has a penis except for a human. Hjartarson told the local media he has long waited for a full human specimen.

Just in case the Arason deal doesn’t work out, the curator has three other donation pledges for a human specimen.

Hjartarson is founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, which offers visitors from around the world a close-up look at the long and the short of the male reproductive organ.

His collection, which began in 1974 with a single bull’s penis that looked something like a riding crop, now boasts 261 preserved members from 90 species.

The largest, from a sperm whale, is 70 kg (154 lb) and 1.7 meters (5.58 ft) long. The smallest, a hamster penis bone, is just 2 mm and must be viewed through a magnifying glass.

A German, an American, an Icelander and a Briton had promised to donate their organs after death, according to certificates on display at the museum.

The American, 52-year-old Stan Underwood, supplied a written description of his penis — which he purportedly nick-named “Elmo” — for display alongside a life-size plastic mould of the member as well as his pledge to donate it.

The museum, originally opened in Reykjavik in 1997, has now moved to the quiet fishing village of Husavik, 480 km (298 miles) northeast of the capital.

Open from May to September, it is housed in a plain brown building, the entrance marked by a tall brown phallus near the door and a penis-shaped sign over the front porch.

A growing number of people from all over the world view the collection each year, 60 percent of them women.

The specimens, most of which were donated by fishermen, hunters and biologists, are kept in glass jars of formaldehyde or dried and mounted on the wall, creating an atmosphere that is part science lab, part trophy room.

It Must Be a SNOW-PERSON

Sex and snow-persons don’t mix!  A Union County deputy responded to a complaint about an obscene snowman, and despite disagreeing with the deputy, the snowman maker eventually agreed to remove the offending body parts.  Last week a deputy spoke to the 45-year-old man who lives on Buffalo Westsprings Highway about the dyed-pink, male genitals on the snowman in his yard.

According to the police report, the man told the deputy that the snowman was on his private property, so he believed he could display the snowman with the pink parts left in place.

The deputy told the man he could either remove the genitals or be charged if he refused. The man said he disagreed, but he removed the offending parts from the snowman to avoid arrest.