Lack of Sex will Cost Ya

Beware if the mood has left the marriage, at least in France! A judge in France has ruled that a 51-year-old man must pay his 47-year-old ex-wife damages for failing to fulfill her sexual needs for 21 years.

The Telegraph reports that a man from Nice, in southern France, known in court as Jean-Louis B., must pay his wife 10,000 euros — or $13,965 — to compensate for a “lack of sex over 21 years of marriage.”

The man was fined under section 215 of France’s civil code, which says married couples agree to a “shared communal life.”

He argued he was often tired and had health problems that prevented him from being sexually active with his ex, but the judge decreed: “A sexual relationship between husband and wife is the expression of affection they have for each other, and in this case it was absent.”

The ruling comes two years after a judge deemed the man solely responsible for the couple’s divorce because of his refusal to have sex with his wife.

Dude Looks Pretty Good for Being 500 Years Old

The arrest of an American man who broke into a woman’s house and tried to suck her blood over the weekend has sparked discussion about the impact of vampire books and movies on U.S. youth culture.

Whether pop culture played a role in the attack remains to be seen, as 19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley awaits a psychiatric evaluation in jail on burglary charges in Galveston, Texas.

Found growling and hissing in a parking lot and wearing only boxer shorts, the pierced and tattooed Bensley claimed he was a 500-year-old vampire who needed to “feed,” Galveston Police Capt. Jeff Heyse said.

Vampires have been a focal point of literature since Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel, “Dracula”. But fascination, particularly among young people, has peaked in recent years with the popularity of the “Twilight” books about teenage vampires and the television series, “True Blood.”

Just a screw-ball in my humble opinion.

Deep Fried Kook Aid? Barf…

Sounds nasty but Chicken Charlie’s is a staple of fried rations at fairs across the country. It sold 400 to 600 orders of deep-fried Kool-Aid per day the first weekend of the San Diego County Fair. That’s about double the rate of previous debut items, Boghosian said.

“That’s because it tastes so darn good,” Boghosian said of the Kool-Aid.

The deep-fried novelty takes the shape of a doughnut-hole. There are five per order. That breaks down to as much as 9,000 balls of deep-fried Kool-Aid eaten over opening weekend.

Boghosian said Chicken Charlie’s has already gone through 150 pounds of Kool-Aid powder and 1,500 pounds of flour. Chicken Charlie’s debuted deep-fried Klondike Bars and Pop Tarts in past years.

Fairgoers on Tuesday were also buying up the deep-fried Kool-Aid.

“It starts off tart and tangy, and then finishes really sweet… I love this stuff,” said Seth Baldwin of Vista.

“It tastes just like a doughnut ball,” said Rashed Karram, who said he prefers the deep-fried Klondike Bars.

Chicken Charlie’s still sells the Klondike Bars, as well as deep-fried thin mints and even frog legs.

“I don’t know if I have the stomach for that,” Karram said of the frog legs.

Woman Gets Friends Tattooed on Her Arm

One nutty woman now has an arm-y of Facebook friends…

The social network fan has had all her online pals’ profile pics tattooed on her limb.

She filmed herself getting the 152 prints and posted the clip on YouTube. The unnamed Dutch woman, who goes by the username susyj87, said: “Pretty amazing, right? I’m really proud of it. Hope you like it.”

But one YouTube user posted: “What if someone changes their profile pic?” And let’s hope she doesn’t fall out with anyone.

Buy a Kid on Kijiiji?

This kid must really hate his sister!

A 16-year-old Ontario boy was given a stern warning by police for posting an online ad that offered two children for sale.

Chatham-Kent police said the ad included photos and stated that the kids had to be gone in a week or they’d be put on the streets.

A concerned citizen called police at about 9:30 p.m., Thursday night.

Police tracked down the teen, who admitted to posting it as a joke.

Investigators confirmed no children were at risk and he was warned about his actions.

Chatham is about 75 km east of Windsor, Ont.

Terrorists Learn to Bake

British spies hacked into an al-Qaida website to replace instructions on how to build a bomb with recipes for making cupcakes, newspapers reported on Friday.

The cyber offensive took place last year when the English language magazine called Inspire, aimed at Muslims in the West, was launched by supporters of al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP).

British intelligence officers based at the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ), the state eavesdropping service, attacked the 67-page magazine, leaving most of it garbled, British newspapers said.

Instead of being able to read how to “Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom,” readers were greeted with computer code which actually contained recipes from The Best Cupcakes in America, published by U.S. chat show host Ellen DeGeneres.

The Washington Post reported that the British action followed a dispute between the CIA and the newly formed U.S. Cyber Command.  Next they need to teach them how to fry bacon!

You are a Bad Tweeter!

A Malaysia man has agreed to tweet an apology 100 times over three days after slandering a publishing company on the social media service.

Fahmi Fadzil (@fahmi_fadzil), who describes himself as a performer and writer on his Twitter bio, is doling out the contrite tweets at about one an hour. As of Thursday morning, he was at 25.

The apology, which Fadzil told QMI Agency was the result of “an out-of-court settlement, mutually agreed by both parties,” reads: “I’ve DEFAMED Blu Inc Media & Female Magazine. My tweets on their HR Policies are untrue. I retract those words & hereby apologize.”

The unusual penalty comes as a result of a tweet he wrote in January claiming a friend of his had been treated poorly by her employer, publisher BluInc Media.

As reported by the Associated Press, Fadzil tweeted an apology shortly afterward, but the company’s lawyers sent him a letter and began legal proceedings.

Twitter is increasingly being cited in contentious cases between companies and employees, as Sportsnet host Damian Goddard discovered when he was fired over one of his tweets in May.

Fadzil has more than 4,500 followers and seems to be enjoying his new-found fame, cheerily replying to questions and suggesting curious tweeters do a Google News search on him. He hosts The Fairly Current Show – a Malaysian current affairs program on the web.

According to a tweet he posted Thursday, he expects to post his last apology around 6:45 p.m. Saturday.

Stuffed Tiger Determined to Not be a Threat

Zoo workers prepared tranquiler darts and a thermal imaging helicopter was dispatched amid reports of a white tiger on the loose near an England golf course.

But there was just one problem — it turned out to be a stuffed animal.

Police have launched an investigation into the potential hoax that sent golfers and cricket players scrambling in Hampshire Saturday afternoon.

As the helicopter neared what was first reported to be a dangerous animal in the grassy field, it detected no heat and the stuffy blew over with a gust.

On Saturday, Sussex Police helicopter officials tweeted, “Tiger seen near golf course, concerns for members of the public!”

Then later, another tweet: “Initially there was great concern for the public that a tiger had escaped the local zoo, luckily, it wasn’t real.”