Senior Citizen Uses HIV Status to Rob Bank

A woman robbed a Colorado bank by passing her official HIV status card from a local clinic and a note saying she would infect a teller with AIDS if the clerk didn’t hand over money, police said on Friday.

Jeff Satur, spokesman for the Longmont, Colorado police department, said detectives are searching for a pale woman between the ages of 55 and 75 with a “boney build.”  Although she blacked out her name from the status card the teller did so most of the letter and they are investigating wit the local clinics help.

Satur said a woman, who was wearing a train conductor’s cap and a gray sweat shirt, walked into a Wells Fargo bank inside a Safeway grocery store on Thursday night and handed a note to a teller.

“She indicated she had AIDS and would give it to a teller if she didn’t cooperate,” Satur said.

The woman coughed frequently into a blue bandana during the robbery, and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash, Satur said.

Police and the FBI released still photographs of the robbery and are reviewing additional photographs and surveillance video from the bank’s parking lot to try and identify the suspect.

She is described as about 5-feet 6 inches tall, and weighing between 130 and 150 pounds.

No weapon was displayed during the robbery and no one was injured, police said.

Woman Gets Friends Tattooed on Her Arm

One nutty woman now has an arm-y of Facebook friends…

The social network fan has had all her online pals’ profile pics tattooed on her limb.

She filmed herself getting the 152 prints and posted the clip on YouTube. The unnamed Dutch woman, who goes by the username susyj87, said: “Pretty amazing, right? I’m really proud of it. Hope you like it.”

But one YouTube user posted: “What if someone changes their profile pic?” And let’s hope she doesn’t fall out with anyone.

Stuffed Tiger Determined to Not be a Threat

Zoo workers prepared tranquiler darts and a thermal imaging helicopter was dispatched amid reports of a white tiger on the loose near an England golf course.

But there was just one problem — it turned out to be a stuffed animal.

Police have launched an investigation into the potential hoax that sent golfers and cricket players scrambling in Hampshire Saturday afternoon.

As the helicopter neared what was first reported to be a dangerous animal in the grassy field, it detected no heat and the stuffy blew over with a gust.

On Saturday, Sussex Police helicopter officials tweeted, “Tiger seen near golf course, concerns for members of the public!”

Then later, another tweet: “Initially there was great concern for the public that a tiger had escaped the local zoo, luckily, it wasn’t real.”

Scary Student

A 13-year-old Florida boy is accused of putting a prescription drug into his teacher’s coffee to get back at her for yelling at him.

Police in Osceola County, Fla., say the school resource officer at Discovery Intermediate School was informed Thursday of rumours that a student had attempted to poison a teacher on Monday.

Police interviewed the boy, who they said admitted that he put one of his prescription Clonidine pills into the teacher’s drink because she yelled at him in class.

Clonidine is often used to treat high blood pressure. It decreases the body’s heart rate and relaxes the blood vessels so blood can flow more easily through the body.

The boy told police he takes the drug to go to sleep.

On Monday, the teacher went home sick, telling two colleagues before she left that she felt nauseous, dizzy and drowsy.

The boy is charged with poison of food with the intent to injure.

Wow, as if teachers in the USA didn’t have enough to worry about already.

Aww, I Really Like Like….

An Israeli couple has taken their love of Facebook to a new extreme: they have named their third child Like, in honour of the button on the social networking site that allows users to express their approval of someone else’s online actions.

Lior and Vardit Adler, who live in Hod Hasharon, told German press agency DPA that giving their children uncommon names is something they like to do.

Their other two children are called Dvash, which means honey in Hebrew, and Pie.

“If once people gave biblical names and that was the icon, then today this is one of the most famous icons in the world,” Lior Adler told DPA.

At least they did not name them status!

Kids Wants Longer Jail Term to Hang with Stepdad

I smell a lifer here.  A teen criminal asked to be sentenced to more than the six months recommended by his lawyer and the crown so he could spend extra time with his cellmate – his stepfather.

The defence lawyer for Justin Beynen, 18, and an assistant Crown attorney were asking a Sudbury judge Thursday for a six-month term for a string of convictions.

But Beynen wanted more time in jail so he could spend it with his cellmate and stepfather, Jason Hastings.

Beynen explained to Ontario Court Justice Normand Glaude he has nowhere to stay when he gets out of jail until Hastings is released in October.

Beynen was hoping for a nine-month sentence so they could stay remain cellmates.

Glaude said the courts are not a social agency, but sentenced the teen to the requested nine-month term after hearing the facts of the case.

Beynen pleaded guilty Thursday to two counts of breach of probation, dangerous driving, failing to stop for police, theft of a vehicle, possession of marijuana for the purpose of trafficking and driving without a licence.

Beynen was spotted by police April 4 driving at high speeds through a neighbourhood, hitting a no parking sign and three parked vehicles before finally stopping, assistant Crown attorney Len Walker said.

Police found 17 grams of marijuana, a knife and six cans of beer inside the vehicle, which had been stolen, Walker said.

Beynen was on a probation at the time and prohibited from having knives. He also didn’t have a driver’s licence and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt, Walker said.

The other breach of probation charge was for repeatedly missing appointments with his probation officer during March, court heard.

Court was told Beynen’s mother is a drug addict and his biological father was shot and killed when Beynen was a child. Beynen has been in custody since his April 4 arrest and sharing a cell with his stepfather.

Hot Chicks Dig Aligators?

This guy is a few light bulbs short!  Police in Illinois have seized an alligator from a man who was keeping the animal as a pet to attract women.

The Cook County Sheriff’s Office officials said they received information a man was keeping an American alligator in confined conditions in his home. Police located the four-foot alligator in a fish tank in the kitchen. A video of the alligator showed it swimming in the tank, which was under a heatlamp.

The man told police he bought the alligator in Indiana, Ill., five years ago for $200.

“He stated that he kept the alligator as a pet because it attracted women,” police said in a release. “In order to keep the size of the alligator down, Yarbrough kept it in a small tank, and only fed it once a month – a meal of 10 live mice.”

Police said American alligators traditionally average between eight and 14 feet in length.

The animal is now being cared for by a Chicago animal welfare group.

Dumb Kid – Roof Hopping

Kids, don’t try this at home – not even in an attempt to get into your home.

A 19-year-old Ontario man survived a seven-metre fall after trying to jump from the roof of an apartment building to his own building next door after he realized he had forgotten his keys.

Police said the man was returning from visiting a friend at 3 a.m. Saturday when he made the unwise choice to leap to the gap to his building.

His injuries were not considered life-threatening.  Nice move dude!

Where do you Pawn Bees?

What kind of weirdo would steal black bees? Yes I am talking about those flying, buzzing, stinging things.

Several thousand bees that were part a multi-million pound neuroscience research project have been stolen from a British university.

Police in the Scottish region of Tayside were appealing for information on Tuesday after four bee hives containing several thousand British black bees were stolen from a medical school in the city of Dundee.

“This theft will undoubtedly hamper our research,” said Dr Chris Connolly, the lead researcher on the Dundee project, who reported the bees missing on Sunday.

In a statement he described the bees as “very unique” and said they should be easy to identify if they are sold on.

The hives are a part of a 2 million pound ($3.3 million) project at the Centre for Neurosciences at the Dundee University’s medical school which is investigating the potential effect of pesticides on bee learning and health.

Police said there were keen to trace a white van and two men that were seen in the area at around 0900 GMT on May 8.

Another Drunk 911 Call

Here is another idiot!  It may be an emergency for some, but don’t dial 911.

A Bridgeport, Connecticut man learned the hard way after ringing the emergency line three times Sunday, and asking paramedics who responded to his home if they could buy him beer.

Police charged Raymond Roberge, 65, with misuse of the emergency system.

The Connecticut Post reported the man has called 911 with false alarms about 80 times.  This guy should be hospitalized.